you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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