Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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