I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
this will be a night to untag.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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