he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
