I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
