i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
