Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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