physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
