That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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