so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
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I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
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He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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