the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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