I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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