Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
