I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
