I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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