Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she smelled like a LAN party
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize