just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
