i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
