I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
