If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
