at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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