Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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