i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
