It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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