We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
