This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
