Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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