A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize