apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
All the doctor said was why
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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