neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
