he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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