Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
