Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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