I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
