My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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