Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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