you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my sisters under your porch take her home
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
