I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
