Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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