Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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