But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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