it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
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