Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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