I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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