Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
