Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol