Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(