I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again