im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
