Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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