We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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