Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We had to coat check the pizza.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
