Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
