my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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