Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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