Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
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How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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