i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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