ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
She announced her abortion via fbk
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Randomize