you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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