I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
