3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
