so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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