Can i not drive my cunt home
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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