He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
